family

Another Announcement

Because my life isn't crazy enough...

In March the book is coming out.
Our basement is on it's way to becoming a functional and beautiful space, but not without the noise, chaos, mess, and extra people in my house all the time. All. The. Time.
And now I've gone and got myself knocked up.

(That's me in the top left, complete with an airplane/baby in my tummy and my growing boobs. Thanks to The Monster for this family portrait.)

I'm complaining about none of it.

Okay, I might complain about the reno stuff more than I should and I really dislike being pregnant. So, if you see me in person there is a good chance I will whine about something. And me, such a process person, I'm only interested in the end result with both these scenarios.

Because I need a little bit of order in my crazy life...

My new website launched. www.cherylarkison.com. This is a landing zone for all things about me, including a portfolio and quilt gallery. It is a live site and will get updated as I photograph more quilts and write more articles. My teaching schedule is also on there. Let me know how you like the site.

This blog will be changing over the next little while. Many of you were reading me over at Backseat Gourmet as well. In an effort to streamline the work I do that I don't get paid for, I am consolidating my two blogs. You'll see the new name up there and a few other changes. This space will become something that combines all the things I do as I survey the world from my dining room empire - quilting, crafts, parenting, writing, cooking, and generally being crazy. And I'm going to be sharing it all here. Especially the crazy part!

I am pregnant after all...

Finished Room

I finally got the finishing touches put on the girls' room this week. That is, I got the curtains hemmed, cleaned it up again, and Hubby was home with his tools to help hang the artwork. Here is the before of their room.

Much brighter, filled with far more functional space. Table for crafts, writing, and more. Open space for games, building things, and a landing pad for jumping off the bed. Only one bookshelf now with edited items. A revamped dresser. A new quilt.



Here is The Triangle Quilt in its new home. See how it fits the bed perfectly? 90'' by 90'' is my new favourite queen quilt size. Perfect if you don't want a pillow tuck.

(On the right side there, behind the red curtain, lives my fabric stash.)

I still think this was needs more artwork, but Hubby and I are in negotiations about that. It is nice to have a bit of quiet space, but even thought the embroidery is large I'm not sure it fills the space.
My Baba was an incredible cross-stitcher. Her house and ours was filled with pillows, table toppers, and framed pieces of hers. She made enough of these bowls of poppies for all her family. To my Mom's dismay I reframed it last year. It used to have a very gold, very ornate frame. With this clean look I find the embroidery shines.

The cabinet, repurposed from my husband, is filled with games and extra quilts. Unfortunately, that damn Hungry Hippo game doesn't fit in it.

On The Monster's side of the bed she gets a tray to hold her favourite books and her water bottle. The tray also adds some colour in the darkest corner of the room.

The Evil Genius gets the cabinet holding the collections of figurines and the closest we get to toys that aren't blocks and games. Fairies, dinosaurs, and an airport. All together. Makes perfect sense in our house.

This bookshelf holds all their books, dress-up items, puzzles, arts and craft supplies, building blocks/Lego, and mementos. Not to mention the collections up top. The rocking chair is from Hubby's grandparents, passed down from his younger cousins that are now grown.

This is our collection of shells, rocks, and seaglass. All gathered on trips we've taken together as a family. Nova Scotia, Mexico, and camping this summer. I've got a dozen more of these jars in reserve for additional trips.

On top we house the piggy bank collection they seem to have amassed, including Hubby's from when he was a kid (the frog), and one of my favourite prints from Marisa Haedike at Creative Thursday.

Don't you love the rainbow book sorting? It appeals to my anal nature to have things sorted and helps the girls put things away cleanly.

The repainted dresser and the girls' bulletin board wall. I had other artwork here, but they asked for a place to display their stuff. Fair enough. So we picked up these squares of cork and some thumbtacks. I love how it echoes the bookshelf on the opposite side.

As you can see, I didn't change the colours on the dresser. I loved that green! But I did give it a fresh coat. And yes, that is a basket of dirty laundry on the side there. Hey, it's a room that is lived in.

Every time my girls ask me to draw a picture I can't help but think of that SNL skit about Simon who likes to draw drawings. As you can see, I can't draw! That's a family portrait done by yours truly. It gets a place above our engagement photo. And that rests on some crochet my Dad did for the girls. He picked up the needle shortly after his cancer diagnosis. This isn't the delicate work I remember him doing when I was a kid, but a brighter and more energized version.

And this is why I have to keep the thumbtacks hidden - there is a lot of climbing on furniture done by our resident monkey.

Details

The girls asked me to keep the walls red. I'll admit, I wanted to lighten it up but I was pretty happy I didn't have to spend a week painting. The red is what Hubby and I painted this room when it was ours. They told me they loved the colour. They are so my kids!

The only new purchases for this redo were the paint for the dresser, the sheer curtains, the bird tray, and the bulletin boards. Everything else was repurposed from their room, the basement, my mom's basement, or even my husband's no-longer-existent home office.

When the girls returned from their week at Camp Baba/Jojo/Grandma they were surprised by the room and for days would come up to me and hug me, telling me that it was so pretty. That made it worth it. But what has also made it worth it (aside from the crap I got to throw out) is that they are respecting the space in a new way. I don't have to tell them to put things away because they get that everything has a home. They want to keep it functional for themselves.

The other great feature is that we can spend hours in here and not run out of activities - crafts, practicing our writing, sorting shells, pretending we're tigers or skunks, pulling out the games, reading books, building things. If I let them eat in here we would be set.

Girls' Room - Before

Last week I had the most awesome pleasure of a week to myself at home. No kids, and mostly, no husband. I think it might have been the best week of my life. Well, at least of the last few years. We sent the kids to Camp Baba/JoJo/Grandma - our family out of town. Hubby was working, and I stayed home.

I quilted, I read, I worked a little, I cleaned up my house. It was all done at a leisurely pace and with very little stress. I ate nachos for dinner and went for long bike rides because I didn't have to report back to anyone. I mentioned that it was glorious, didn't I?

One of the things I did do that certainly felt like work, but was utterly necessary, was clean out and redo the girls' room. It was chaotic and crowded in there. And with only a two bedroom house and a husband who works at home it was high time I got it organized so the girls and I could actually function in there if Hubby is home working.

Our house is only two bedrooms and a few years ago we switched and gave the girls the bigger room. This means all their toys and activities can be in their room, instead of taking over the house. And that way my crap can take over the house instead! But the room was messy and full of stuff no one was using anymore. So, in between my little breaks of personal creativity and relaxation, I tackled the room.

This week I'll share the before pictures. Next week, after I finish hanging pictures, I'll share the after pictures.
Christmas decorations still on the wall, an old mattress for guests/trampoline, and crap everywhere!

Two dressers, yet clothes piled everywhere. This bookshelf creating a hallway and blocking off the room.


The bookshelf - the closest bit of order in the before pictures.

A dresser storing fabric, some of my clothes, the Monster's clothes, and dress-up stuff. The diaper genie still there when diapers disappeared from our lives 3 months ago.

The dresser I grabbed from my Mom's basement (minus the legs) to refinish for the girls. It might have been my brother's when he was a kid. It sat next to the deep freeze, filled with fabric scraps from home ec and family sewing projects in the 80s, as well as some baby clothes of my Mom's and some Ukrainian embroidery.

I'm pretty sure I drew on this as a kid. No one remembers, but it is most likely that I, the biggest brat in the family, did it.

Next week, the afters. Just wait! I can tell you that the girls love it and so do I.

A Pie for Mikey

You start out with an idea, a concept of where you want to take it. A taste, a feel, a look. A finished product to be savoured and enjoyed. Something to share, to show off, to take pride in.


You gather the things to make it, and you bring them close. You handle them, you edit, you cut, you taste. Add heat, maybe some sizzle, and quite often a long simmer. At many times will you season, highlighting the flavours and subsequent adventure.


Usually it gets messy. You are either the type of person who cleans as they go or the kind that has a third hand following them washing and wiping as you move. It doesn't matter, as long as you address the mess at some point.




Eventually you sit to enjoy. It isn't necessarily what you expected it to be. Sometimes it doesn't work and you have to start over tomorrow. Quite often it's better. Much better than expected.


One day it explodes. The pleasure is insatiable. The joy immeasurable. On another day it is more subtle, simple. It is good, but not great. The pleasure and peace, however, is there. It's lingering and comforting. Perfect.


At least, this is how my marriage feels.


My husband is my best friend and an incredible man. Kind, generous, a little bit wicked. Committed, driven, and horribly sarcastic. He owns his own business and used to race mountain bikes. But I always thought I'd marry a professor or snooty intellectual. We'd live in an old house filled with books and no kids. Obviously that isn't what I've got.


My man in my life and our marriage came about like a farmers' market dinner. One day you find something that looks fantastic and you go with it. And so we have, experimenting along the way. Some days it explodes with pleasure and some days it is lingering and comforting. Perfect.


Imagining a life without my husband nearly stops my breath. Cold.


And now there is a colleague, a friend I met through blogging, who is living this fresh hell right now. Her husband, the father of her two little girls, suddenly collapsed and died last week. She is feeling the immeasurable pain of loss, the unimaginable.


This pie is for Mikey, for her, for their girls. This pie was his favourite and it deserves a celebration. As does he, as does the love he and Jennie shared. Their recipe gave the world this pie. Let's celebrate.


The food blogging community - including those who live close to Jennie and are lucky enough to share a drink and pizza with her - are gathering around her right now. This is community. Today we are making pie. People the world over are taking Jennie and Mike's pie and making it for their own loved ones. They are adapting the pie for themselves, making the recipe for their own loves. In doing so we celebrate a man, relationships, and the spirit of adventure in love, cooking, and life.






Little Feet, Pins and Needles (Part 2)

Welcome to Part 2 of the Little Feet, Pins and Needles series. Last time we talked about setting up your space and bringing a relaxed attitude to quilting when you've got young kids around. This week I want to talk about some ways to encourage creativity and an interest in quilting with your little ones.

This is about more than encouraging the with needle and thread or getting them literally involved in your quilting. (That's next week in the series!) Getting your kids thinking about colour, about the motions of quilting, and the aspects of design is a great way to foster an interest in your hobby/work without ramming it down their throat.

Here are a series of activities, games, or toys you can bring out to get your kids playing. You can always have these set up beside you as you sew. You could also get down on the floor and play with them. That's a great way to play yourself and find some inspiration along the way. Its always a welcome break for everybody.


1. Lego
As a kid, my favourite way to play with lego was to build houses. House after house, one day blue beds, another day red. Space lego was really out there for me. Now that my girls are getting into Lego I am struggling with do more than that. If they aren't asking me to make something specific I find myself defaulting to shapes and lines. My youngest took over my thought process and now she makes Lego quilts, working fastidiously to cover the entire green slate with colour.

2. Paper Quilts
We have a bit of a scissor issue in this house. To direct that habit I put coloured paper and recycling in her path. That leaves us with bits of paper everywhere. Everywhere. Now we take those bits and I hand them a glue stick. Voila! Paper quilts.


3. Sewing Cards
A kind reader of my blog sent my girls sewing cards. (Thank-you Nanci!) When they asked me to teach them how to sew this is the first thing I pulled out. We patiently work on front-to-back and back-to-front concepts with these cards. I let them explore the where to sew next question rather than guide them. This way they learn the rhythm. Or they don't, but then they love the end result more.

4. Embroidery Hoop
This was actually the first thing we did together. Thread, some linen, and a hoop. Go to town! They weren't getting the concept entirely, but they loved the feel of needle pulling thread. I believe the important part is them enjoying that feel and loving what they created. As they get older we can work on stitches. This will be an age/development aspect that you can adapt to your own kids.

(Put together by Abby, Amanda Jean's little one, while I was visiting.)

5. Their Own Design Wall
If you've got a big design wall, or even a small one, letting the kids go wild with their own designs is great. I'll admit, it can be stressful when they want to "help" you lay out a quilt. By giving them a space with some fabric or blocks of their own they can explore on their own. And who knows? It may end up inspiring you! When I was visiting Amanda Jean her little girl was always making creations in a corner of the design wall. It was great to see her determination at times, an her abandon at conventions we might hold close.


6. Mess Up the Scraps
Because I sew in a very shared space there is fabric everywhere. If I kept it all precious and off-limits then I would spend more time being stressed. So the girls have free reign of my scraps. Actually, they have free reign with my fabric stash too, so long as I'm with them for that. My youngest, in particular, loves to organize, stack, fold, and play. She makes sculptures, presents, and generally, a mess. And she loves it. It will keep her occupied for quite a while for a 3 year old. Her pride in her creations is immeasurable.

My goal isn't to create future quilters - although, that would be nice. Rather, my goal is to foster a playful energy towards colour and creating. My medium happens to be quilts and so I can encourage development through my medium.

Fireside


This weekend was the first Arkison camping adventure. Hubby and I used to go, before kids, but we'd never been brave enough to take the kids out. You know the real issue for me? Sleeping in a tent with them. We do not sleep together, ever, at home, so I was stressed at the thought of being in such small confines with them. Other than a moment the first night when The Monster feared the tent because she didn't know how it was made (?!) it went great.

We hiked, we played by the river, we went to the bathroom in the woods like a bear, we covered ourselves in dirt, we ate bacon in bulk, and we had fire. Hubby's obsession was trying to start a fire with a magnifying glass, the girls fawned over their cousins and specialized in getting as dirty as possible, and I stole moments to sew.



Yes, even on a camping trip I sewed.

Last week I decided I need a hand project for when I'm out and about or when I just don't feel like taking the machine out. I saw an image in a book of the girls', experimented with shapes, then pulled out my scraps (augmented by Amanda Jean and and Heather).

I have to give a lot of credit to Barb, who came for a visit last week. Her handwork is phenomenal! It was so inspiring, as was my afternoon with her. After that I knew I needed to slow down to address the roots and get out hand sewing needles. Templates too!

To be honest, I'm not sure where I'll take this project. It may be hand sewing, but it's still me. That means that I've started without a plan of any sort. I don't know if I'll run out of steam - probably - but I sure am enjoying the steps along the way. Especially if it means more camping.


Seven Tips for Dining Out as a Family

The first meal out for our family after having a baby was sushi. Our newborn slept in her car seat and I gorged on the fish that had been banned from my diet during pregnancy. It was bliss for everyone. Our last venture to that same sushi bar (last month) was a bit more raucous, with the girls not so quiet now. But they sat at the bar, ordered their favourite sashimi, and flirted with the host who gave them candy.

We can't imagine our lives without the opportunity to take the kids out for dinner. If we didn't take them we might not go ourselves with limited babysitting in town! But if you want to take your kids to a restaurant, whether it involves a giant golden M or serves fois gras, there are some basic guidelines. These are guidelines for parents, not rules for kids.

1. Start at Home
If you want your kid to sit at the table, eat, and not run around and scream at a restaurant table then you need to expect that behaviour at home as well. I know many a parent who struggles to keep their kids at the table, regardless of where they are sitting. While I can't provide any tips for getting them to stay in their seat - other than expecting the behaviour and enforcing it - if your kid can't sit at the table for 20 minutes then a sit down restaurant isn't going to be a successful venture for you.

2. Revise Your Dinner Expectations
When you take your kids out to dinner with you then your experience will not be that same as dinner out with your partner. There is no lingering over dessert, conversations are not usually about politics or money, and you will likely eat pretty fast. Dinner out with the family isn't romantic, but it can be fun. Keep your expectations in check, as well as your timing.


3. It's all in the Timing
Knowing when your kids need to eat and when they'll crash is important if you choose to eat out. Don't arrive at the restaurant at 6 if they are used to dinner on the table at that time. Be prepared to order an appetizer or the entire meal when they come by to take a drink order. And ask for the check right after your meal is served in case you need to make a speedy exit.

4. Choose Wisely
There is no need to limit your family meals out to fast food or even chain restaurants. Steakhouses, greasy spoons, and yes, fine dining are all acceptable. Do not take your kids to the best place in town if all they've ever eat are chicken fingers, you need to work up to that. Consider going to a nicer restaurant on a weekday, not on typical date nights on the weekend. Preview menus on-line or with a drive by to ensure there is something your kids will likely enjoy. Try brunch instead of dinner, it's faster, more likely to have preferred options, and is a more casual environment - even in a fancier restaurant.

5. The Art of Conversation
I'm not a fan of bringing toys and such to the restaurant, but I can see the benefit for other families. A run of the mill restaurant will sometimes provide the menu that can be coloured, or you could bring your own colouring book. Books, a small doll, a random car, or even an electronic device might also be effective in occupying your kids while you wait for food. It should go away when the food arrives though. We take the time in a restaurant to have a conversation - as effective as that is with a 3 and 5 year old. I also don't want to set the precedent that toys are commonplace when you go out for dinner. Each family will have to decide what is appropriate.


6. Lose the Kids Menu
Even the fanciest of restaurants sometimes have a kids menu. Ignore it. It may be fine dining, but they are often dumbing down the food in addition to smaller portion sizes. Instead, look to the appetizer or soup/salad portion of the menu. Alternatively, you can order one main course and split it among two or three children. Do not relegate your kids to a diet of chicken fingers or grilled cheese sandwiches. Or at least, save those for the nights you stay home when you don't feel like cooking.

7. Be Prepared to Leave
Yup, be prepared to get up and walk out without dinner. If your kids are misbehaving, whining, or generally being bad or disruptive, be prepared to leave without eating. Aside from showing restauranteurs and other patrons that you have control over the situation, you are also showing your kids that certain behaviour is not tolerated. Whether you let them eat dinner at home after that is another matter. (I would not, but that's me.) If you want your restaurant experience to be successful and repeated, then you need to set the precedent.

On the recent debate on Q, with Jian Gomeshi, Emma Waverman, and Simon Majumdar, the host and guests talked about a ban on kids in restaurants. While I squarely believe in the comments made by Waverman, it was this quote from Majumdar that sums it up. Restaurants want to ban kids, primarily because of crying and bad behaviour, and that "Boils down to wretched parenting."

If you want to take your kids out of the house - and we all need to at times - then you need to step up to the plate, plan ahead, and be clear on your behavioural expectations with them. A restaurant isn't always a break at dinnertime, don't treat it that way unless the kids are at home with the babysitter. Dinner out with the family is an opportunity for exploration, conversation, and treats.

High Romance

My husband and I really know how to turn up the romance. As one friend said, we know how to have a CRAZY time.

This is us. It's after the girls have gone to sleep. We cracked a beer, turned on that day's Tour de France coverage, and basted the triangle quilt.

In his defence (and mine), I made him help me. The quilt is for the girls so I thought he should, literally, have a hand in it. Besides, at 90'' by 90'' it was taking over the living room as it was basted, he might as well have helped.

A Triangle Quilt


Welcome to the next hole in my head. No, I'm not even close to finishing the last one. I got tired of trimming all those half square triangles. There are nearly 300! Or it might, just might be evidence of some quilter ADD.

These are the bee blocks from the Pieced Together 2 Bee. I was putting together another, similar top a few months back and The Monster expressed such excitement over the design. That quilt went to live somewhere else, however. Ever since she's been asking for a triangle quilt of her own.


Then, the other night, I walked into this scene. Beyond the damn cuteness of the two of them cuddled up like that, you can see their sweat-soaked heads. They refuse to wear anything but full PJs and fight over the heavy duvet every night. With summer finally here the nights are actually warm. What else to do but make a quilt.

Yes, here in Calgary we switch to quilts in summer, instead of winter. Winter is for duvets (or layered quilts) and summer for quilts. So it is now my mission to get the girls a triangle quilt before summer ends.

I started with 11 blocks of various sizes. I figure I need 25 blocks at 18.5'' square to get to the queen sized quilt I want, with plenty of overhang. Since Sunday afternoon I've managed to make 6 more blocks and cut out 5 more. Some of the blocks might end up being solid yellow. Maybe, maybe not?

We're looking at a long weekend, I wonder how much I can get done? You know, in between actually spending time with the family.

Summer?

The sun is FINALLY shining here in Calgary. It feels like forever ago that we had it. It's been a rainy spring, one that makes us happy we spent so much money waterproofing our basement a few years ago.

So now The Monster is out of school and out of sorts. We're trying to establish a rhythm to summer without doing too much. I'm trying to find the time to quilt and write without resorting to PBS Kids as babysitter. We're all searching out the summer. Here's where we are so far.

Last touches on that Shades of Grey quilt. I can photograph it now that it's stopped raining.

My husband's labourer, also a part-time tattoo artist put to work with sidewalk chalk and a book about pandas.

In all his fashion glory, this is my husband mowing a maze in the park across the street. The City doesn't seem to be quick to mow it this year so Hubby goes out every time it is sunny and mows paths for us to explore. The stellar fashion choices are always there.

Time spent watching an ant (singular) try to move a dead bee.

A precious visit and loads of snuggles with our latest nephew.

My reflective girl on her 5th birthday last week. Okay, so I caught her trying to look away, but let me have the mystery of her contemplative look. Here's one way we celebrated her birthday.

My youngest, having ANOTHER fit. Such an impatient, stubborn, and tempestuous little girl. And she's three.

But she is also phenomenally silly, adventurous, and obviously inherits her fashion sense from her father.

And now, a whole bunch of pressing to do. I need a break from the cutting - my wrist was killing me the other night when I was slicing my squares into these. I hope I'm not adding carpal tunnel to my summer plans.

Bring it on, summer! We can take it.

Enforcement

3 hours.

My 3 year old sat at the table an hour for every year the other night. Just because she wouldn't drink her milk. And because we told her she couldn't leave the table until she did just that.


She cried, she took a bathroom break, she fussed, she tried to play, she desperately worked us for conversation and entertainment. We continued on with our evening - working, cleaning up, putting The Monster to bed (even though she couldn't sleep because she is quite used to her sister in the room), and I even made caramel corn. For 3 hours she sat there. At that point I subbed out the milk with a cold glass. She spilled that one. I cleaned it up and gave her another one. With a nonchalance that belied the battle of wills she simply picked it up and drank it.

Right now you either think we are cruel parents or are filled with admiration for our stick-to-it-ness. Or you think we're dumb. I'm going with all three myself.

A rule is a rule. We don't care if they don't eat all their dinner. As long as they've tried everything on their plate, they can eat as much or as little as they like. But they have to drink their milk. (Very lovely goat milk, I might add.)

As for us parents, our rule is that if we start down a path we don't cave. If the other says something we don't contradict. So even though we had a pile of things to do and actually needed the dining room table, we worked around her. It was exhausting, I'll admit. I'm proud of all of us for sticking to it. And the caramel corn went really nicely with a scotch once it was all over.

(I used this recipe, but subbed the syrup for maple syrup, added pecans instead of peanuts, and crumbled in some cooked bacon with the popcorn.)

And don't tell the kid, but I'm impressed with her. That stubborness will do her well as an adult, if she makes it there.

What are some of your dinnertime rules? What's the longest you've had to go to enforce a rule?

Heartening

Heartening
72'' by 72''

A few weeks ago my sister turned 40! To mark the occasion my sister-in-law and I (she's also a quilter) decided to make her a quilt. Everyone deserves a quilt on such a momentous birthday. This is the result of some late nights filled with cider and crass humour. Oh, and some love too.

It was an easy quilt to put together. We used the Chopsticks method. I love taking a pretty modern design idea but using it with unexpected fabrics. The softer quality to these greens and neutrals would usually be seen on a more traditional quilt. With this design, though, they are totally different. We chose the colours to coordinate with my sister's house.

The quilting was done entirely with a walking foot. Yes, a walking foot made all those curves. They are such gradual curves that you can easily do it without dropping the feed dogs. I really wanted some curves to contrast the sharp lines of the quilt top. And even though I confident with my free motion work, I needed something that I knew wouldn't provide me with a single challenge considering the timing of when I was quilting this. One little tension issue and I would have lost it.

The back was pieced from fabrics I had in my stash. A few yard cuts and some fat quarters. Fabric I bought and loved but still hadn't used. The pops of blue work because a few of the greens on the front have some bluer tones. Besides, all those neutrals were getting to me, I wanted to more colour!

Here is my brother putting on the label. He hates this picture because he says his hands look old. I hate to point it out to him that he is.. ahem, older than my sister. I love it because here are the surgeon's hands sewing. Meticulous and caring, perfect for a surgeon and an older brother.

Just a simple striped binding. It has all the colours of the quilt. It was a lucky find as I was picking up the batting I saw it by the till. I didn't actually have the quilt with me, but I was pretty sure it would work. It was perfect - the right colours but soft enough not to overpower the quilt itself.

We gave it to my sister the weekend we were cutting down a pile of trees at my Mom's house. I couldn't help but snap a photo with some wood. Aside from the trees there is a lot of wood that my Dad gathered over the years. It comes with the territory when you work in construction.

And here is my sister celebrating with her quilt. I hope it is giving her plenty of comfort. I bet she and her son are already spending some good time snuggling.

Happy Birthday Jan!
This quilt is a part of the Bloggers' Quilt Festival.

Amy's Creative Side

Yee-Haw

My weekend was a country song. I'm no poet, nor a songwriter, but the events and emotions of the weekend would really make a good country song.

After a stop at a doughnut shop and a ride on the Prairie highway in a 1 ton dually I found out I need surgery. I know that, have known it since I wrecked my knees last year, but the surgeon is finally willing to schedule the first one.

We broke out the chainsaw to remove some trees at my Mom's place. Many have needed to go for years and my Dad was quite hung up on getting it done. So Hubby brought up his chainsaw and the family gathered for a heck of a lot of tree chopping.

My sister turned 40! We celebrated by chopping down trees with a chainsaw. And we gave her the quilt that we worked on in secret (more on that quilt another day).


There is a new baby in the family. A gorgeous, happy little baby boy to cuddle, tease, and laugh with. He is little brother to Hubby's little brother's first son. Cuddling him was about the most perfect thing in the world for me this weekend.


My dog died. Buster aka Bustamonte aka Damn Black Dog never woke up on Saturday morning. The big galoot was happy and playing with the kids on Friday, chillin' at my feet at the end of the night. He was healthy, as far as we knew, and not that old. And Saturday morning he was gone, having died in the night at the foot of the bed where my Dad used to sleep.

We toasted the Damn Black Dog/drowned our sorrows at a bar called The Beer Hunter. 'Nuff said.

Then there was that whole killing the big terrorist thing, but I had nothing to do with that.

Surgeons, chainsaws, births and birthdays, secret US military missions, and a dead dog. Yup, that's a country song for sure.

Routine

When my father-in-law died seven years ago and we used a lot of humor to cope with our grief we would joke that we could say, "My Dad just died," and get what we wanted in any negotiation or to get out of something we didn't want to do. My girls are already picking up on this and when they cry because I won't let them have another Mini Egg they scream, "I'm just sad because Dido died." I can't help but laugh, then still refuse to give them another chocolate. I need to accept their own process of grieving and settling back home, but that includes losing the bad diet of our time away. Besides, Mama needs those Mini Eggs.


My Dad died and we buried him last week. After nearly 2 months of not being at home, of daily trips to the hospital, of more candy that I thought possible, of captured meals, of the chaos of 6 little cousins getting together more than they ever have before, of the comfort of cookie it is time to get back to a routine.

There is a lot to be said for routine and kids.

To be honest, though, I used to scoff at the parenting advice that practically shouted out the value of ROUTINE! for kids. Most kids are resilient and adaptable. Not all, but most. And I certainly didn't want to become a slave to my kids routine. Wake. Eat. Play. Sleep. Repeat.

Right now, though, we're craving routine.

We watch PBS Kids while we eat our bread with butter and honey, as we do every single morning. (Okay, so they did this at my parents' place every morning too.) Now we can stay in our pajamas longer. We can soak in the sun streaming through the windows. We can pet our dogs. We can peek out the front window and spy on the neighbours. We are home.

So long as there is bread, butter, and honey we can eat. We can be boring and routine.

A Pillow

There is no clever way to say this. My Dad died.

On April 12 the cancer finally took him. It was very rough there at the end, with struggles to breathe and maintain dignity, with exhaustion and pain.

We buried him a week ago.

My girls, ever the concrete and literal thinkers, obsess over exactly how one exactly gets buried or why those men are singing songs they can't understand in fancy, embroidered capes or what the spear thing is their cousin is carrying or why the bells have smoke or why they can't pull down Dido's baseball cap collection if he is dead now and doesn't need it.

My family struggles with the conflicting emotions of grief and relief.

There are photos I took of the process of dying and moments in the hospitalization that struck me, but they aren't mine to share yet. It's funny, but I think I've crossed the line into some kind of photographer (albeit very amateur) because there were photos I wanted to make, even at the funeral. Making photos is now an outlet for me.

These two photos are of my Baba's embroidery and what we did with it. While we picked the most simple coffin we could, at my father's request, it still had a bit of a ruffly pillow. So we crafted our own. We took some of my Baba's embroidery and appliqued it to a case we made for the coffin pillow. It might seem morbid to share it here, but I know you will all understand. I needed to share the beauty of my Baba's work, and our desire to bury Dad with the work of two generations.


I stood at the prayer and funeral services and delivered the eulogy. It was a challenge, as my relationship with my father was certainly not perfect and actually far from good at times. But he asked me and I couldn't say no. So I stood and told the story of my father and how his story is also mine, is also the story of everyone who knew him. And now it is yours.

I spoke of the need to get down on the floor and play with the little ones even when the dishes need doing or one more seam needs to be sewn. I spoke of never leaving things let unsaid. I spoke of the need to live your life, to make it through the day taking the time to share your story, to create your story with the people around you.

In Use

That's my Dad's quilt there. It rests on the cot and hospital pillows in my Dad's room. That room is in the Palliative unit at the hospital. He would sleep under it himself, as he did when he first entered the hospital, but the cancer makes him hot (and hungry). He makes us use the quilt as we take our turns spending the night with him. Comfort all around in the darkest of moments.