Doug's Frog Shirt Quilt

Doug's Frog Shirt Quilt

Approximately Twin Sized

August 2004

Stack and Slash, Fusible Applique - Original Design

Considering that I shared my Dad's quilt (Roots) during the last Blogger's Quilt Festival it only seemed appropriate that I share my Father-in-Law's quilt this time around. Sadly, my Father-in-law, Doug, never actually saw this quilt. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and 6 weeks later passed away.

As soon as he was diagnosed I pulled the fabric. It was all inspired by t-shirt he had. This pretty ugly batik t-shirt, known as the Frog Shirt. That t-shirt was, as far as I know, the only source of tension between he and I. My teasing was a bit much, but we got past it quickly. So, in homage to that shirt and him I took it as my inspiration.

The top was pieced with the Stack and Slash concept in rectangular blocks. I picked the black sashing for a few reasons. Number 1, the frog shirt was black. Number 2, it went well with the rest of the fabrics, setting them off nicely. And Number 3, it was kind of symbolic. Cancer can be a sentence - as it was for him - so it is rather like bars holding in the chaos of cancer in the blocks.

The frogs, of course, needed to be on there. Each frog represents his wife, my amazing Mother-in-Law, and their three kids. Even the grandkids, of which there were only two at the time, are given their place on the backs of the frogs.

The quilting was an all-over stipple with random fern and plant motifs added in. I used a Sulky variegated on my old 1960s Brother machine.

Sadly, I never got the chance to finish the quilt before he passed. Then the overwhelming world of grief took away my quilting desires. But in time for what would have been his birthday that year I finished the quilt and presented it to the family. Initially I'd hoped it could roam the family and provide some comfort where necessary, but it has always stayed with my Mother-in-Law. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Doug has been gone for over 6 years now and I still miss him terribly. He would have adored his new granddaughters and been proud of his son. He still lives on in his family and in the memories. Those never go away. Neither will the quilt, which I pet every time I visit my Mother-in-Law.

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Conquering my Fear

Handquilting is something I've tried a sum total of three times. The first time was on my third quilt ever. And only because I was terrified of free-motion quilting. The second and third times were earlier this year. That makes a 10 year break between efforts.

I'm trying it again. I would be talking out of my ass if I didn't confront my own fears after that last post on Fear. In my case, I was afraid that I would mess up this project with bad stitching. And the wealth of excellent examples on-line seriously intimidated me. But I can't sit around in fear, I just can't. It isn't my nature, although it is certainly easier. But I would be a hypocrite to you, my faithful readers, if I didn't challenge myself.

I would also be a hypocrite to my kids. You see, The Monster is a very intense child. If she can't do things perfectly the very first time she does something then the world essentially ends for her. Last summer, at 3, she tried her tricycle for the first time. When she couldn't figure out the notion of pedalling in the first 30 seconds she quite promptly got off the bike, picked it up, and threw it.

She gets that from me.

So, if I am working every day with her and her sister to get them to understand the notion of practice, work, and simply trying something even if you aren't perfect at it, then I need to do that myself. Enter handquilting.

Each of the 27 circles on my low-volume circles quilt will be handquilted. This is in contrast with the straight lines I'm doing on the background. It seemed an appropriate approach since the circles were done entirely by hand shortly after I injured my knees in January.

Now, I'm only three circles in. And it certainly isn't pretty. But each one looks progressively better. Seeing improvements certainly helps the confidence level. Regardless, I'm committed to the process and the product.

Full confession though, I'm stabbing these stitches, not using the traditional rocking motion. I know that isn't the correct way, but it is working for me. I believe that counts for a lot. Besides, on my recent trip to Nova Scotia I had the opportunity to snuggle by the fire under an incredible handstitched quilt that was entirely stab stitched. That was enough to motivate me to tackle my quilt. I don't know if I'll ever be as good as the artist, but I won't know if I don't try.

Fear

Fear holds a lot of people back. Not only in life, but also in quilting. Fear of a new technique, fear of messing up, fear of being less than perfect, even fear of not being liked (the work, that is). I'm here to tell you to stop being afraid.

(I feel evangelical just typing that. Maybe I should be on a stage with a tiny microphone on my face and gesticulating calmly as I speak. You know, projecting a voice of inspired energy and turning you over to my side?)

This is a bee block. Just a simple wonky star with a twist was requested. I can get those directions, play around with the fabric given, and come up with something a bit different from the typical stars seen out there. For another person, those directions can simply stop them in their tracks. For one, saying wonky paralyses many. Must have a straight lines... And two, this begs for improvisation. Must have a pattern... Finally, what if the recipient doesn't like what I do?

For a long time I didn't understand these fears. In my case it was because I happen to like a challenge and actually sewing that way. But then people asked me to sew very precise things in their bees, with very specific instructions. Definitely not my go-to-choice for a project. But I'd made the commitment to the bee and my fellow participants. And I wasn't afraid so much as less than excited. But it's one block, what's the big deal?

But one block can be a big deal to a beginner, or to someone whose never made a triangle or not worked with a pattern. I don't want it to be a big deal though. I want people to look past those fears and relish the challenge. Why not try something new? Do you want to make log cabins or simple patchwork for the rest of your life?

Okay, maybe you do. Maybe you would be really happy churning out those quilts. And that's fine. But then stay away from on-line bees and expect other people to get bored with your work if you choose to share it with a very public audience. That's all good if you are happy doing what you are doing.

Looking for more, though? Feeling inspired by all you see on-line or at guild? Then it is time to set aside some fear. Here are some tips to get you moving past the fear:

- Join an on-line bee. This will force you to try new techniques and meet other quilters. Alternatively, join a round robin or guild bee.

- Play. You can just sew for the sake of sewing, it doesn't have to turn into anything.

- Don't blog about it. If you are worried about what people think, then don't share it.

- Blog about it. Push yourself to put it out there, flaws (perceived or real) and all.

- When in doubt about that one fabric, include it. If it still niggles at you once you've used it, then take it out. It is only fabric.

- Ask for help. Whether from an in-person friend or by posting on-line, seek input from others (like we did with the Workshop in Progress).

- Challenge yourself. Set up regular goals to try new techniques or colours.

- Stop reading blogs and books for a little while. It can be demoralizing for many to see so much inspiring work. That is, we think we can't be good enough or think it is beyond us. So take a little retreat for yourself and turn off the computer and stay away from the stack of books. Fondle your fabric and sew for yourself.

- Colour. Stuck when it comes to fabric? Then pull out the crayons, markers, or pencils and just colour. Even if it is just a colouring book, go for it. Give people blue skin, colour the trees purple, or make polka-dotted dogs.

Keep in mind that if you are stuck there is no need to make an entire quilt to move past the fear. Make one block, just play for a bit. This reduces the commitment and moves your forward one step, one block at a time.

What other tips do you have for facing the fear?

Soul

We've just returned from an almost garish weekend trip to the East Coast. Yes, I jauntily flew 5 hours (one way) for a weekend. What an indulgence. And oh so necessary. Now, if only the lottery folks would understand that I need to do this more than once every 3 years.

My soul is well, better now. I was reminded of my love for my husband, my love for friends (old and new), my love for Halifax and all its rotten charms and tourist traps, my love for the ocean and falling leaves and leaves falling in the ocean, my love for foghorns and even cruise ship bellows, my love for beer, my love for simply strolling, my love for me and my soul.

Just a sailboat, as seen from our sailboat.

Coming home with Kate and her family after we sailed and ate. A day spent with friends old and new. Capped with beers cuddled under Kate's mom's quilt and quiet conversations about love, grief, picky eaters, firefighting, vegetarianism, health care reform, friends, creativity, writing, boats, and love again.

PS Barb, I'm sorry we missed each other. Next time!

Celebrating the marriage of one of my oldest friends to the woman who clearly makes his heart dance and leap.
Boys being boys at the Seaport.

Colourful inspiration at the farmers' market.

Waterfront details that warm the cockles.

Halifax details that blow your mind with stories.

Late night shenanigans with the best man on Earth. We got ourselves sorted out in Halifax over 14 years ago and did so again this weekend.

It's a good thing I have my soul, because I'm pretty sure my heart was wrenched from me, tied to a heavy rock, and thrown in the Atlantic. At least I'll have a good excuse to go back.