Contentment versus Happiness in Life and Quiltmaking

Where do you find happiness in your quilting? Is it is the process or a specific part of the process? Or is it in the finished quilt?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difference between contentment and happiness. Here is what I shared with my newsletter readers last week:

So many of us are always on the look out for happy. We think happiness is the ultimate goal. We are wrong, I see now. Contentment is what we should seek. 

Think of it this way. When you have a baby the exhaustion level, physically and mentally, is high. So is the amount of stuff and drudgery in your day. But then the day comes that they genuinely see you for the first time, the day they roll over, the first night they sleep for 6 hours straight, pulling themselves up at the coffee table, crawling, walking, the first word. These milestones are all the happy we desire. They are excitement and pure joy. But they aren't really enough to get us through the day to day, the repetitiveness, the mess of parenting a baby. Unless, of course, we can embrace the naps on our chest again, cleaning the favourite toy of spit up again, the screeching, and even the diapers. Contentment is when we can look at all of that and still smile.

Happy is an exclamation point. Contentment is a smile. 

If our lives are filled with nothing but exclamation points it will be fun, sure, but also exhausting. Here's another way to think of it. Imagine your last good vacation, if you can. Was it all adventures - zip lining, horseback riding, spicy cooking classes, the tallest building in the city, surfing lessons? Probably not. But maybe you did one or two really exciting things and then otherwise enjoyed strolling the beach or city streets, reading a book, a delicious bakery where you lingered. If it was all the adventures - the exclamation points - it would be a lot of fun, maybe a bit stressful, and very, very tiring at the end of the day. But those quieter moments, the ones that make you smile and sigh are delightful.

Regular life needs to be a combo of both. However, instead of seeking happiness, we should be looking for what makes us content. More importantly, we should be looking around us and realizing that what we have is good and brings us contentment. You might be surprised at what you see.

Then I was speaking with a lovely lady in my neighbourhood this week, also a quilter. She spoke about how she will look at a finished quilt and wonder just how she got there. Like suddenly it is finished and the making of it has slipped away. Yet the making of it is where her peace is.

Contentment = enjoying the quilt making process.

Happiness = the finished quilt.

So I suppose that now that I’ve thought of it this way, I see my love for the process in an even better light. And it explains my defence of unfinished quilts. I would much rather have contentment, a smile, in my life on a daily basis than the energy of an exclamation point. Don’t get me wrong, happiness is awesome, finished quilts are awesome, but finished quilts only come around a few times a year. Why hang all my joy on sometimes success when I can have peace everyday in the making?

To that end. I did finish a few quilts recently so I was happy to pull out an old, favourite project. I’m jazzed for it and sneak in to the sewing room in spare moments to put together just one more string of Itty Bitty curves. The piecing makes me feel joyful, the work growing gives me all the smiles, and the daily making is 100% about contentment.

Unexpected Gifts for Quilters

Okay… send this post to you partner, your spouse, your boyfriend, your grandkid, your mom, your girlfriend, or even your best quilting buddy. Sure, they can all give you a fat quarter bundle, another ruler, or a gift certificate to your favourite shop, but that is so cliche! (Albeit, always welcome!) Instead of the usual stuff, now is the time to drop some hints for the unexpected, but greatly appreciated. These are the gifts that will fuel your creative fire. Not to mention, get you using the fabric they bought you last year.

1. Art Gallery/Museum Membership

Most major cities have an art gallery, or two, that host both regular and touring exhibitions. Stepping out of your usual textile world is a great way to soak up inspiration. Special exhibits on top of the regular showings introduce you to a load of new concepts and ideas. You may think that you would rather spend the time sewing than an afternoon out, but it is well worth it. Bonus, if you have a partner or children it makes an excellent date!

Here in Calgary I am a fan of The Glenbow, the Esker Foundation, and Contemporary Calgary.

2. Subscription to an Audio Streaming Service

Avoid the ads, for one. But this is great food for the brain while you sew. I know a lot of people who will ‘watch’ shows while they sew. Something familiar that they listen to but don’t actually watch. Skip the pretense and listen to your favourite tunes or get engrossed in other people’s stories. True Crime, Humour, Books, even sewing all have podcasts delivered regularly across platforms. It could be Apple Music, Stitcher Premium, or Spotify, among others. Check their preferences.

3. Really Nice Markers, Pencil Crayons, and/or Pens. Plus a Bullet Journal.

Sure, we’ve all sketched something on a scrap of paper with what ever nub of a pencil we found or meticulously planned a quilt on a standard pad of graph paper. Okay, some of use computer programs, but you folks are in the minority and skilled in a totally different way. Getting to play and draw out our ideas with real colour in things that flow on nice paper is a true privilege for most quilters. It is not another pack of Crayolas for the kids to steal. These are our things that will be protected at the same level as our fabric scissors.

While I, personally, am not someone who does the Bullet Journal thing, I do like the dotted paper that most journals have. It allows you to make and use grid lines without having the lines be so prominent like they are on graph paper.

4. Long Arm Classes

A long arm sewing machine is not in the budget of most quilters. (Remind me to tell you of the time my husband discovered the prices). However, there are stores and long arm quilters across the country who will rent out time on their long arm machines. You just have to be certified first. Give the gift of the class.

If an in person class is not an option, splurge on a long arm gift certificate. Your favourite quilter can get their big quilt finished without intimidation.

5. Time

Give them time. A weekly or daily time where they are free to sew - GUILT FREE - while you take care of the rest of the stuff of life. It might be a sew date with a friend (who needs book club when you can sew?), mornings while you get the kids out the door, or at night when it makes zero difference to you anyway (but you can fold the laundry while they sew, right?) To many of us would love to do more but the grind of daily life means that time is at a premium. The gift of time means so much.

Remember, none of these gifts are about getting more quilts done. Don’t ever make that the goal. That will probably go over as well as buying someone a gym membership if they casually mention they wish they could lose five pounds. Bad, bad idea. No, your goal with these gifts is to encourage their creative exploration. You are promoting their natural curiosity, enhancing their skills, and showing your unconditional support for something that brings them joy.

Round and Round - Improv Log Cabins in a Circle

Round and Round

80” x 80”

Definitely not my oldest quilt in the construction pile, but 5 years later this one is done. I looked, and I made the original handful of blocks in September 2014. Oddly enough, also on a September snow day. Yet this quilt is the antithesis of a snow day. It is bright and obnoxious, full of energy and noise, not quiet, serene, or peaceful. But it will keep you warm during not that freaky, obviously, snowstorms.

So I started it 5 years ago, finished the top 3 years ago, and it took me all summer to quilt it. Sounds about right!

It ended up being a bear to quilt. I really wanted to get it done but it was at a peak of pain for me. So I got my friend Philippa to thread baste it for me on her long arm. But then I fought and fought with my machine on quilting it. Thread kept breaking and my bobbin sensor went haywire. Even a trip to the spa didn’t solve the problems. But I kept her clean, got new bobbins, and eventually learned to turn off the bobbin sensor. Oh, and adjusted that top tension. We will not mention my tendency to speed through corners and the impact that may have had on quilting.

I did use a go-to thread colour for scrap quilts - olive/sage green. It would truly be my last choice of colours given a stack of fabric or rack of thread, but it works brilliantly with scrap quilts. It blends better than grey and falls in a nice medium value so as not to pop out anywhere. With a scrap quilt like this an all over pattern is precisely perfect.

Hot pink binding for the win!

Plans are underway for something more for this quilt. I’m pretty excited to see what I can do. The snow needs to melt and health needs to return to our house. Both should happen by the weekend. After that, we’ll see if my plans can come to fruition. It just takes the time to do the work! Hard to do with that regular family business job, shingles, and sick kids. In the meantime, this quilt is already in rotation for snuggles.

Teeny Tiny Scraps Shadow Box Craft

“How small is too small?”

Whenever I am speaking on scrap quilting, no matter the audience, this is a guaranteed question. I think people are looking for either A) someone to tell them it is okay to throw out fabric at some point or B) that they aren’t crazy for keeping every little bit. And both of those people would be right.

My default answer is that I will keep pieces as small as 1-2’’ square. And little triangles left from making binding or other blocks. Definitely keep those. Not to mention all those stringy strings of fabric shedding bits of thread, I always keep those.

Then there are the trimmings. Because the bulk of the work I do is improvised at some point I need to trim and square up blocks or components on a quilt. I might be left with very useful scraps or a mess of threads and what used to look like fabric. While finishing up my last quilt top the dazzling array of bits left behind were just as inspiring to me as the blocks themselves. So I spent 5 minutes - yes, that is all it took - putting together this fun scrap project.

TEENY TINY SCRAPS SHADOW BOX CRAFT

Supplies

• Fabric trimmings, thread bits, and tiny scraps of fabric

• Clean Shadow Box Frame in any size

Instructions

1. Fill shadow box with trimmings. Arrange in a colour order, if desired.

Notes

• Take a little time to make the front side of the scraps pretty. The back of a fabric is really just another fabric in the collection, so it isn’t a big deal if it shows. Just be happy with the way the top layer of scraps looks.

• It might be tempting to jam in ALL the trimmings, but unless you have a latch on your shadow box frame it won’t stay closed. Experiment with just the right amount to be full yet still keep closed.

Now my project happens to match the last quilt top I finished, because it was that quilt itself and her gorgeous colours that gave me the idea. But this has the potential to be a whole different kind of art project. In a way it reminds me of the sand paintings that some people can do.

So, to answer the question: nothing is too small.