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2+2=4

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It's time to put 2010 behind me.

To be perfectly frank, it was one of the worst years I've ever had. As a couple, Hubby and I both agree that not much can get worse. (There was a lot to celebrate too.) We weathered long and frequent separations, there was the fall while skiing and the recovery that still continues, there were major life changes and serious adjustments for all, there were home renos that went no where, there was Hubby's painful battle with his own injuries, there were changes all around. And there was more.

This quilt came out of the more. In the last 6 months of the year I experienced two miscarriages. One was quite shocking and ended up with me in the hospital on our way home from a funeral. The other was more typical and certainly less traumatic, but hard to deal with because it happened while Hubby was out of town. I'd had a miscarriage before, in the months before The Monster was conceived. But after everything this year I found these two particularly rough to recover from - physically and emotionally.

This quilt was started this summer, shortly after my hospital experience. The image of the crayons in my hand was always in the back of my head, percolating with options and happiness over how they came to be. At that point I also started thinking about the questions nurses and midwives ask when you become pregnant. How many children do you have? How many pregnancies? 2+2=4

Some doodling, some planning on the computer, and I just started sewing. As December progressed there was no option but to finish this quilt. I needed to put it, and everything else behind me. It was a just because quilt, but it was also more. But I don't want to put a lot of meaning to it. Finishing it, however, is symbolic of putting the past behind me.

I tend to hold on to things, even when they are pulling me under the water. Some sort of sick self pity keeps me grasping to hang on when the surface is right there. If I just let go I can get to shore and walk ahead, drying off as I go, ready for the next adventure. Hubby always said that if we let everything that happens get to us we would never get out of bed in the morning. Well, I spent a lot of time trying not to get out of bed over the last 6 months. It's time to stop doing that, it's time to let go and swim for shore.
The quilt is done. It isn't a particularly pretty quilt, nor is it one of my best efforts. I was so anxious to finish that I didn't square it up and the edges are very wavy. The quilting is uneven. My points could have matched a bit better in spots. But its done. With the last stitches of the binding, finished with my girls helping me on New Year's Eve, I actually do feel ready for the next adventure.

Bring on 2011!

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Less Talking More Eating

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It's been months since I ate a cold meal.

Parents often say that they miss hot meals once they start having family dinners. Too much time spent cutting, feeding, cleaning, and cajoling and not enough time enjoying their own food. In our house we have the opposite problem. Hubby and I finish our meals before our children have even started eating and it's getting damn frustrating.

We always eat together. I dish up the same food for everyone, a little of this and a little of that. Everything must be tried, but not necessarily eaten if you don't like it. A glass of milk on the side and maybe, just maybe, a treat or some fruit after dinner. The girls, like most kids, don't like hot foods. I serve them first and we cut it all up, as necessary, as Hubby and I serve ourselves. Then we all sit down and should be able to enjoy a pleasant meal.

Should.

Meals are anything but pleasant these days. Hubby and I will chit chat while we eat, with the girls coming in every now and then to tell us to only talk one at a time or "less talking more eating!" By no means are we inhaling our food, but almost every night we'll be half done before the girls have taken a single bite - if we're lucky.

That picture up there? Our lovely bison stew (a family favourite, made this way) and some olive oil bread (courtesy of Martha Stewart). I snapped that of The Monster's meal when I was already half done mine.

Dinner tonight took 45 minutes! I'm all for leisurely meals, lingering over wine and great conversation. Or even milk and knock knock jokes. I am not, however, down with reminding my children to actually take a forkful of their food and watching them chew everything 50 times, every single bite. Every single bite. Or repeat that there that there is no singing at the table and they are the ones that need "less talking, more eating." (Oh, how my parents are laughing now.)

It isn't even a battle about whether they like it or not. It's the same regardless of what we eat, but definitely worse if it is something they are iffy about.

By the time the girls finally finished tonight and I offered up some grapefruit and vanilla bean panna cotta they, and we, were done.

What would you do when faced with this?

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Merry Christmas

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It seems rather obvious that most of us are gathering with family over the next few days. Whether family means the neighbours next door or the entire familia at your parent's house, there are likely to be a few familiar treat on the table.

For me that means a big Ukrainian feast, followed by Christmas Tree bun, a fantastic gourmet feast, and more hot cocoa than anyone possibly needs. Don't forget about the rogalki, the shortbread, the rum balls, and definitely the booze. (Have you ever noticed how Christmas is much more enjoyable now that you can drink in front of your parents?)

As a parent myself now I was fighting crowds and crossing fingers. There I was in Canadian Tire, not quite begging Santa to come through for me. The Monster asked for a water gun in her letter to Santa. A water gun, in December. While I waited for a very, very kind elf to check the basement of Canadian Tire for a random water gun I browsed the candy aisle. That's when I came across the Misty Mints.

These were a favourite holiday treat in my family. Only for Christmas. We hoarded our favourite colours, even though they all taste the same. They aren't even real chocolate, but are so tasty. And full of memories.

When the elf returned, miraculously, with a couple of soakers, I grabbed a few boxes of Misty Mints to share with my family. Santa will still be the popular guy with my four year old. And maybe my family peace can be negotiated with some pseudo chocolate. Merry Christmas.

What will you be sharing this week?

I'm taking some time off for the holidays. See you in the New Year!